


Oh, Baby!

by skargasm



Series: Abandon All Hope All Ye Who Enter or however that goes [35]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire (Teen Wolf), Established Relationship, Fanart, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29001162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skargasm/pseuds/skargasm
Summary: Talia gives Peter and Stiles something important to look after....
Relationships: Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: Abandon All Hope All Ye Who Enter or however that goes [35]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/131232
Comments: 19
Kudos: 176





	Oh, Baby!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Burningchaos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burningchaos/gifts), [mephistopholes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mephistopholes/gifts), [TummySassAndAss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TummySassAndAss/gifts).



> I'm not sure this comes under accidental baby acquisition but Burningchaos requested it!

“What’s it doing now?” Peter peeked obediently around the corner before swiftly pulling his head back.

“Its scratching my couch!” he hissed in reply. 

“What?”

“It’s scratching my couch with its claws!” He gave Stiles a dismayed look. “That’s suede, goddammit – expensive to repair!” 

“Peter – focus!” Stiles paced around the kitchen, wiping his hands over his face while he tried to think. “You need to do something!”

“Like what?” Peter asked, looking as shell-shocked as Stiles felt.

“Well, I don’t know! Only child here – I’ve had nothing to do with kids my whole damned life!” He turned an accusing gaze onto Peter. “You told me your sister dropped kids faster than a breeding rabbit!”

“So?”

“So? If you’re the absolutely amazing, fun uncle that you made yourself out to be, get out there and deal with the – the cub? Pup?! You should know how to take care of it!”

“I never told you – “ Stiles gave Peter a flat look, daring him to finish that lie. “I only said that so you’d see me as relationship material! It makes men look more attractive if they’re good with babies!”

“Where the hell did you get that bullshit from?!”

Peter looked a little abashed, replying quietly, “Laura.”

“Oh my God, you took dating advice from _Laura_?” Laura was a complete disaster when it came to dating: Scott, Theo followed by Brett – they had all breathed a sigh of relief when she finally settled down with Parrish. 

“I was desperate! You refused to have anything to do with me! What else was I meant to do?”

“I don’t know – maybe try _talking_ to me instead of leering and dropping inappropriate comments into conversation?!” Stiles replied in exasperation. Before Peter could reply, the whining that had been coming occasionally from the living room began to come more frequently and rise in volume. “Do something! Its unhappy!”

“Well of course it’s unhappy! Its mother has disappeared and we have no idea how to find its pack – I’d be unhappy in that situation!” Peter snapped back.

“Well – go give it hugs or something!”

“ **YOU** go give it hugs!” Peter replied.

“What if it’s an alpha and I accidentally get bitten?” Peter gave Stiles a disbelieving look. “It’s happened! My online friend Oz got bitten by his nephew Jordy and now he’s a werewolf!” 

“You’re making that up!” Peter said.

“Nope! Honest as the day is long – he didn’t even know Jordy was a werewolf till the next full moon – it made for a fun family get-together!”

The whining became more piercing and urgent, the pup in obvious distress. They both stuck their heads around the edge of the door-frame, seeing that the cub was working its way out of the pillow enclosure they had created it for it and looking for something – comfort? Food? A human sacrifice?

“Feed it!” Stiles said suddenly, gripped by what he thought was an excellent suggestion.

“What the hell do I feed it?” Peter asked.

“Why the hell did Talia bring that thing here?” Stiles wondered aloud despairingly. 

“Stiles – its not a _thing_! It’s a living, breathing – “

“So help me God, if you start bonding with it, I am out of here!” Stiles threatened and Peter shut his mouth. “Milk? Is it too old for milk? I still drink milk – that must mean its okay for it to have milk, right? Oh, I know! Maybe you should chew some steak and spit it out into its mouth!”

Peter looked completely disgusted at the prospect, staring at Stiles in disbelief. 

“Why on earth would I chew up steak and _spit_ it into its mouth?”

“Mother birds do it for their babies,” Stiles said reasonably. “I mean, with worms, but the idea is the same. I think.”

“It’s not a god-damn bird!” Peter almost exploded. “I don’t have a clue how old it is, so I don’t know what is safe for it to eat. And Talia isn’t answering her cell – I **know** she’s done this on purpose!”

“Why do I have to be part of some twisted revenge she’s taking out on you?” Stiles whined. 

“Thank you for your solidarity,” Peter said deadpan. 

“Fuck you! At the moment, I’d climb over your dying body to get away!” 

There was a soft thud from the other room, followed by the sound of paws padding towards them. They shared a look of utter horror before looking down to see that the cub had made it’s way to the doorway and was staring up at them with huge, pleading eyes. 

“Make it stop!” Stiles moaned, mesmerised by the most impressive display of puppy eyes he had ever seen, including coming from Scott. 

“I don’t know how – “ Peter began, moving towards it unconsciously, like a moth drawn to an irresistible flame.

“No! Don’t touch it – you’ll – “ It was too late, Peter had bent down and picked up the cub and was now cuddling it into his chest. Stiles would deny to his dying breath that something inside of him went ‘awww’ when he took in the picture Peter presented holding the cute, furry little beastie. The cub pressed its face into Peter’s throat, a sound similar to purring coming from it as it made itself comfortable against Peter’s body. “It’s too late now – you’ve been assimilated – like the Borg!” Stiles said.

“Sssh, you’re scaring it!”

“It’s scaring me!” Stiles hissed, backing away from Peter and coming up against the fridge. “And so are you! Where’s my big, bad wolf with the manly chest and mighty hunting skills? You’re changing before my eyes – oh my God, maybe it’s a changeling and is putting a spell on you!”

“Stiles! It’s not a changeling – it’s just a scared, tired pup looking for some affection and reassurance,” Peter crooned in a soothing voice, swaying back and forth in a gentle rhythm. Stiles had to admit, it was cute – soft-looking, honey brown fur, upright ears and bright eyes – it looked a lot like the wolf plushy he’d wanted for his seventh birthday when he went to the carnival, but alas, hadn’t managed to win. Maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. He stepped forward cautiously, reaching out to stroke the soft-looking fur on its head. 

Before he could touch it, it blurred in front of him, fur receding as it turned into a tiny naked human perched on Peter’s chest. 

“Make it change back!”

Peter had jerked at the sensation, moving to hold the now fully human baby at arms’ length and staring at it. 

“I don’t even know why it changed just now – how the hell am I meant to make it change back?” he said fiercely. The little boy – which was now completely obvious as it kicked it’s little legs and seemed to hang happily from Peter’s arms – gurgled at them threateningly and Stiles decided it was more evil-looking than cute. It might be in their best interests to keep it fed so that it didn’t transform into a demon form and try to eat them.

“Maybe we could give it some milk now?” Stiles said hesitantly, watching the baby carefully in case it tried something. Peter turned to him approvingly, opening his mouth to reply just as the baby let loose a stream of urine, liberally watering the front of Peter’s sweater and splattering the floor at their feet. Having finished releasing what was a truly impressive amount of liquid, the baby yawned widely and smacked its lips, looking at them expectantly. “If it comes out with something solid, I am **out** of here!”

* * *


End file.
